reflective analysis

20035279 #29
Mrs. M. Turner
Advanced Composition A – 3rd hour
15 January 2010
Reflective Analysis
The topic for this polished piece was a topic from a journal entry. The topic was to write about what would happen if there were no adults or authorities at school. Even while writing the journal essay, I could already tell I would do this topic for my next polished piece because it would be fun to write about what students would do if there were no adults or authorities. I started this piece by putting myself into that position, and trying to imagine what everyone would do. Of course the first thing I thought of was the use of cell phones, and so I incorporated that students were pulling out their cell phones as soon as they heard there were no adults in the building. As I did that, the ideas started flowing and soon I had written my piece.
I felt like this piece was one of my better pieces because there were many details describing the environment and the mood of the classroom and school. Having many details makes the reader be able to picture themselves in the situation and see it the way I was seeing it as I was writing the paper. Also, there were very little being verbs in the paragraphs, making the piece stronger. Although some of the things I could have worked on in this polished piece were to make the opening paragraph clearer. One of my peer editors told me that I should not have described the outside life after I walked inside, and if I were to describe the outside, I should still be walking outside. However, my other two peer editors told me that it was clear enough, and I should not have to change anything. Because it was two over one, I did not change the opening paragraph.
As my piece progressed, I read over my paper at least 20 times, filling in areas that seemed empty and boring with details and descriptions. In my journal, I had rushed to write this entry, making the piece sound bland and boring, with hardly any details. But as I continued to work on my piece, I became more engaged in the piece, and started adding more and more details to it until it became the piece it is now. The initial idea of this piece came from a journal entry that Mrs. Turner gave us. As soon as I heard about the entry, I knew right away it would be something I could write about in my next polished piece, and I was right; it became one of the easiest and more fun pieces of write about. Because there would never be no authorities at school, the thought of it makes every student excited and all hoping it would happen. That is why this topic made such a good paper.
Overall, this was one of the most enjoyable and fun papers that I have ever written. Though there are some things I felt like I should have worked on more, I am proud of the way this paper turned out. I know almost every student in the world can relate to this because we all would be excited to have no authorities at school just for a day. I am really glad I had this topic to write about 